


High Times with Weedwhisker

by Bbun



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-25 07:19:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2613116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bbun/pseuds/Bbun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weedwhisker tells a story about a time he got high on catnip. Hilarity ensues.</p><p>(One shot on Weedwhisker from Warriors.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	High Times with Weedwhisker

Goldenkit and Lionkit peeked into the elders' den with curious eyes. Their mother, Speckletail, didn't keep much of an eye on them, now that they were two moons old. But sometimes the two rambunctious kits had to be reminded about being mindful to others. Especially when they were in the middle of something. So what would be better to do than to bug the elders to tell them a story?

Weedwhisker poked his head out of the den to get some fresh air (the elders' den was smelling of moss and elderly cat scent half the time, anyway,) but he was greeted by the two young kits. The old ginger tom didn't have time for any of their nonsense. 

"What do you want?" he hissed, showing off his yellowed, cracked teeth. "Can't you see I have other things to do right now?"

"We were just wondering if you could tell us a story," Goldenkit whined. "Speckletail told us that you tell the best stories."

"I want to hear one!" Lionkit shouted, which earned him a disapproving glance from Larksong, who was re-entering the elders' den rather tiredly. 

After some deep thinking, Weedwhisker grumbled before answering the kits' pleas. "Fine. Just don't go distrubing Larksong - she needs to nap."

The old tom led the two kits inside the den. Larksong was curled up inside her nest, head tucked in between her paws, and her tail was wrapped around some of her body. Mumblefoot was sitting in his nest, one of his paws tucked in, and purred as Weedwhisker brought Goldenkit and Lionkit inside.

"Weedwhisker, you know you always give into these kits, right?" asked Mumblefoot.

"Hush! This is coming from the one who played badger-ride with Sunfall and Featherwhisker when  _they_ were kits." growled Weedwhisker.

"Kits will be kits...." murmured Larksong as she tossled in her nest.

Weedwhisker ignored her, and headed for his nest. Once he sat down, he ordered the kits to do so, too. This would make his like  _so_ much easier, as he could actually focus on his audience of two.

"Now, this here story I'm about to tell you youngin's is from a time before I started getting the white specks on my pelt. It was from several moons ago, when Sunfall and Featherwhisker were mere apprentices, when your mother was only a kit, when Pinestar was a new leader," he began. "It was from a time when I young and foolish, and when the Clan was terribly afflicted with illness...."

"Greencough?" inquired Goldenkit.

"How?" wondered Lionkit out loud.

"If you two were more patient, then I'd confirm that!" the old tom muttered. "Here we go...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many moons ago, there was a time where the medicine supply was low due to the apathy of the two cats in charge of it, Goosefeather and young Featherpaw. As StarClan loves to punish those who are selfish and careless, their ancestors brought upon their wrath in the form of greencough. Several cats of all ages fell ill, and a few even died.

"Mallowfur is dead!" cried out Featherpaw. The day she died was on his first day tending to the cats...which was also his first day as an apprentice, using Goosefeather as his guide. Many rumored that she had caught the first strain of greencough before he even got apprenticed in the first place.

Many cats soon fell ill after that. Even Pinestar lost a life at one point, they say. The one cure for greencough, catnip, was scarce, and spare cats were sent to search for the herb.

"Bring back as much as you can find...just don't roll in it." ordered Pinestar. Rolling in catnip made its effects lessened greatly, sometimes to the point where it'd be unusable entirely.

Weedwhisker was one of the few cats that did not fall to the dreaded illness. He was chosen to go search for the herb by himself, as the two medicine cats were busy tending to the sick. The ginger tom quickly left camp soon after he was given the order by Pinestar, heading for an area near the Sandy Hollow.

Now, Weedwhisker was notably air-headed and constantly drifting off into his own little world, and thus it was sometimes hard for him to follow direction. Hence why he was usually sent on hunting patrols; he excelled in that area, but because he couldn't focus very well, he was an easy target to pick off in battles. Even Pinestar had to remind him to get back into reality every now and then. 

"Hmm, so Pinestar wanted me to get some catnip...okay this is easy," he said to himself as he squeezed through a gap between two large boulders, "I think he wants some to have fun, right? Then I'll  _get_ on with that fun!"

When the ginger tabby reached the Sandy Hollow, he immediately headed for the small patch of catnip that was growing on the right side of the slight dip that the training area took. Catnip was extremely rare in the forest, and had to be taken from Twoleg gardens half the time, so Weedwhisker planned accordingly for his next destination. Heading off to one of those fences near Twolegplace would be a good idea, since not only was it a short distance, but more could be collected that way.

He planned to have a bit of catnip for himself, first, before saving any for Pinestar. Sometimes, when Weedwhisker was younger, he would see Goosefeather or Mallowfur nibble on the green herb, and then some time later, they would act rather...strange. Their minds seemed to be viewing images from StarClan themselves, and they spoke of blasphemy and nonsense to every other cat. Usually, they would be offering them to have some of the herb, too, and before long, they would join in on the fun, too.  _So why not try to understand their experience?_  Weedwhisker thought.

Hesitantly - this was his first time, after all - Weedwhisker nibbled a bit of the leafy plant. It tasted delicious, so good that he could just have  _more_. The temptation was too overwhelming for Weedwhisker, so without any thought, he proceeded to eat the rest of the catnip plant. The thought of saving Pinestar some didn't come to mind until the moment afterwards.

"Mousedung!" cursed the warrior. "Pinestar would have loved this! I should get to Twolegplace now...." His mind drifted off as he padded along a sandy-brown path that was next to some river. Did the river lead to catnip? It was so amazing that he just  _had_ to have more. 

Then Weedwhisker noticed that something seemed...wrong. The difference wasn't easily noticeable, but it was _there_. Before long the colors of things seemed to get mixed up. Grays seemed to mix with greens, and blue was more yellowish at this point. Weedwhisker's mind was swirling with all of this going on, not understanding what was going on.

It didn't take much time before he began to hallucinate. The ginger tabby saw odd, swirling shapes popping up from the sides of his vision, bursting with every color imaginable. Sometimes catlike shapes would form right before him, only to fade out as he got near them.  _Is StarClan calling to me? Perhaps they want me for something? Or they're leading me to more catnip!_ So many possibilities! But there was only one way to find out; follow the sandy-brown path near the river - well, more like the black trail near the golden lights.

So he went and followed those lights. Eventually he came across some green bumps; they looked like the same green of catnip, but they were in the light, so he assumed that they were just stepping stones. Weedwhisker hopped over them, until he reached the other side of the black path. As he walked he saw a few tree-looking things hiding another area, so he passed through them. At last he saw what appeared to huge, flat patches of catnip.  _Yes! This is what Pinestar needs!_

The ginger tom proceeded to roll over the 'flat patches', enjoying the experience. He felt so warm...and even more tempted to find the herbs he needed! Weedwhisker began inspecting every patch by rolling in it, and licking it. For some reason this variety seemed bitter and tasteless; perhaps it was not ready yet, or it was spoiled. During all of this he was having so much fun, that he soon forgot why he was doing it. Everything seemed to be so different, that he even forgot where he was!

Over the river, there were two cats hiding in a pair of bushes. They were spying on Weedwhisker doing his folly, and their ears were flat, but their fur wasn't bristling.

"I didn't know ThunderClan could be this pathetic!" spat a gray tabby tom.

"Troutclaw, clearly that tom is delusional. Look at him! He thinks the rocks are food. Something's wrong with him." replied a brown tabby she-cat.

"Birdsong, don't be so sure. Sometimes cats get wilder with age." Troutclaw claimed.

"I'll be needing some valid evidence before I believe that!" Birdsong snorted. "Now are we going to cross the river or what?!"

The two RiverClan warriors swam across the river to reach Sunningrocks, where Weedwhisker was still trying to find catnip.

"Trespasser!" Troutclaw snarled. He tried fluffing up his fur so he looked far more intimidating to Weedwhisker. "What are you doing here?"

When the ThunderClan warrior turned around to meet him, he only saw a dark brown shape that looked like a cat. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "I can't believe it! I'm meeting up with a StarClan warrior!"

"What are you talking about? I'm lively and strong, thank you very much." the gray tabby muttered.

"StarClan told me that if I followed these golden lights, I would find the catnip Pinestar needed!" Weedwhisker replied.

"What golden lights?" Birdsong asked. "You probably saw nothing. What's wrong with you?"

"Mmm, I'll tell you. I went to this one spot in my Clan's territory, and I saw some catnip! So I ate it all, by accident. I knew that there was some near the Twolegplace, so I tried finding that. Then I started seeing things that changed my life!" he explained. "So many colors...and StarClan, I swear, was calling to me! I could see their shapes in the sky!"

"Like what?"

"Well, there was this really happy-looking flower, and this bird, who had five eyes for some reason. Lots of grass, too."

"Well, let's see if  _this_ will change your life!" Troutclaw prepared to swipe Weedwhisker in the face, but Birdsong jumped in front of Weedwhisker.

"Troutclaw, there's no need for violence," Birdsong sighed. "We should just take him back to Hailstar, and give him the catnip he needs. I mean," the she-cat turned to Weedwhisker before continuing, "ThunderClan is going through a bad greencough epidemic, right?"

"Yeah. So many sick...and Mallowfur died, and stuff," Weedwhisker answered. "I think there will be no more...the StarClan cats think they have had enough...yeah...."

"I'm so done with him now. Off to Hailstar he goes." muttered Troutclaw, and he and Birdsong hauled the delusional Weedwhisker along as they crossed the river. The ginger tom felt like the shapes were getting wilder. He wasn't sure why he was taken away from the huge catnip patches, but if those two StarClan cats said that they had it, then he'd gladly follow their orders. He closed his eyes, and let whatever cold water-like thing wash over him. It felt so nice...and refreshing....Weedwhisker blanked out after some time, and eventually was knocked out.

When he woke up again, he found himself in RiverClan's camp.  _Oh no!_ worried the ginger tom.  _Pinestar won't get his catnip!_

Right near the nest he was put him, he saw three cats - Hailstar, Birdsong, and Troutclaw - talking to each other.

"...so from what I got out of this, Weedwhisker made himself go into a wild fit? Unknowingly trespassing on a desperate quest for catnip?" Hailstar asked.

"Seemed like it. He was  _licking_ the rocks, for StarClan's sake!" replied Troutclaw. "Never have I seen a cat even more foolish than _Goosefeather_! That's saying something right there!"

"Troutclaw, perhaps you should raise your standards a bit," Birdsong retorted. "The poor thing didn't even know where he was!"

Then Weedwhisker noticed some cat coming toward him. For some reason, the shapes cleared, and he didn't know why. Did StarClan decide that they had enough of this? He identified the cat as the RiverClan medicine cat Milkfur, easily recognizing her gray-and-white tabby pelt. She was carrying something easily recognizable in her jaws - catnip!

"I was told you needed this," she muttered as she dropped the herbs. There seemed to be a decent amount for the Clan. "Now get outta here, before I make you!"

"Y-yes, Milkfur," Weedwhisker uttered, and waited for the escort to get ready. He hoped that Pinestar would be pleased with the amount he got. After all of that he went through, he did get his catnip, but it took him such a long time to do so....

It didn't take long for the escort to arrive and leave him by the ThunderClan border. Weedwhisker nodded as a sign of his gratitude, and headed inside the camp.

Pinestar was sitting on the Highrock, and stared at him in disdain. "Where were you?" he asked.

Weedwhisker dropped the catnip in front of him. "Oh, just having some fun, that's all," he chirped happily. "I hope you will enjoy this!"

"Okay...thanks." Pinestar replied flatly, and sent Weedwhisker away to the warriors' den.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So what happened to the sick cats?" asked Goldenkit, concerned about the ending of the story.

"There was enough catnip to treat them all, so we managed to not lose any other lives," Weedwhisker ended. "I guess my act wasn't all for naught."

"Did you ever eat catnip again?" inquired Lionkit. 

"Never. I've never gotten greencough after that, and since I didn't want to repeat history again, I no longer go near any catnip," he answered. "Too risky."

 "Well, thank you for the story!" Goldenkit said, and she and her brother ran out of the den excitedly.

"Those kits are bouncing everywhere," Mumblefoot whispered. "You think they'll grow out of it?"

"Probably," Weedwhisker replied. "All kits mature eventually."

"What about those who don't?"

"They're stuck as whiny brats."

"Goodness! Is there anything that will make you shut up about that?"

Weedwhisker thought long and hard about this. He could make Mumblefoot do anything in the bounds of the Code - even some rather questionable things.  _What will teach him a lesson_? Weedwhisker thought. And then, he knew.

"Oh, I know what will make me shut up," Weedwhisker said. "Will you do this for me?"

"Alright," Mumblefoot agreed. "What is it?"

"Get me some catnip, please." 


End file.
